I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
