just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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