We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
