I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
