Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
