There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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