I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
vagina is talking i cant
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
