Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
