that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
