Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
