everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
