i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Randomize
