Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
