CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
