I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
