Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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