He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
We have so much sex to catch up on
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
