He is like the real live version of the state fair..
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
