thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
