If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
