Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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