The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize