first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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