hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Randomize
