He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
