Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
