I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
