I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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