drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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