You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
