ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
