well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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