i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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