I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
