her vagine was all disorganized.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
did i just pee glitter
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
