but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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