just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
