i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
