make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
