i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
My life is pants optional.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
