The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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