Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
