do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
