I'm going to rape someone's good day.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
