I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
