my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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