So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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