I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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