i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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