I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
