im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
