So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
