I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
