would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
